A Cosmic Calling

tomorrow night, while you feel the cold, a cold you remember from a lifetime ago with a bitter and hard realization that winter is on its stormy way, take a look at the sky ... a long look. a rare event, perhaps more unique than uncommon, transpires in the vast November heavens above, Saturday at just after eight - the eclipse of the moon. i wonder if you will feel the same sense of wonder and awe that are sure to pulse through the core fabric of my being. not just the wonder and awe of the beautiful and majestic lunar eclipse but of the relevance of your life to this event. a concept of relativity between the great beyond and the small piece of earth upon which you weigh down. perhaps think about your life, your fears and tears, the people you love and the friends you have, yesterday's regrets and tomorrow's hopes. perhaps you will smile, perhaps a solemn veil will cover the moment, or maybe, just maybe, you will lift up your arms and reach for your willing destiny and dare to dream. reach out to the universe in an unyielding surge of energy and feel the oneness with life. you can do anything. you are a star, born from the cosmos, ever changing through time and space. and when you become one, and know your purpose, the universe will hear your call. the waves are set in motion, the course is plotted, now it's up to you to follow it.

Let it rain

I love music.  I love hearing new songs and rediscovering old classics.  There are so many notes, so many feelings left to linger and long ago memories that marry with the change of every chord and verse.  I love you so... My god, why am I only hearing this now for the first time.  I feel like crying, it is so beautiful. Everything happens for a reason, and the reason is that the time is right, the time is now and the soul is in tune to the strings of the universe.  It's raining, and the rain is pouring into my thoughts. "It is the summer of my smiles - flee from me Keepers of the Gloom" is winning the moment. I want everyday to be a summer of smiles but the keepers do not leave. It is the time and things are clear.  I am connected as connected as anyone could perceive to be.  Connected to all that is, connected to the wonder of life and the amazing, absolutely awe struck feeling of body numbing goose-bump goodness.  It's in me.  The summer shines but not nearly as bright as it should. The pain surfaces and the gloom of regret returns; the flowers no longer bloom.  I never thought about tomorrow, and tomorrow has won with so little regard of time.  My time is over; it was over yesterday.  Negative notions and erroneous egocentric evaluations make emotions.  Let them fall Brian. Let the tears fall. Nobody cares. Nobody will care whether you love them all so.  I never thought you would ever go.  You went and I let you go.  I'm sorry I couldn't save you.  I'm sorry I lost you. I miss you, miss your laugh and your smile.  I want every moment to be a summer full of smiles.  Those terrible tears.  They're a touching tribute to your regret. A dedication to that wicked wish which forever burns away the summer.  Where has my time gone - lost to yesterday.  Tomorrow will never know.  Tears are falling and they're falling for everyone. I love you so very much...and if the holders of hate are ever willed away, I want you to know, my heart is broken.  Shattered pieces that try to shine but the light is dim.  Many have I loved and many times I have wondered how many can I know.  "Leaves are falling around, time I was on my way. Thanks to you I'm much obliged, such a pleasant stay.  But it's time for me to go..."  the islands await, really they can wait.  I have much to say, so much to ramble on. Drank a few glasses of white wine tonight (thanks sparkles), three if you're counting and one over the loco line. Marveled at the smoke and smoked the marvelous. Played sneaky peaky with chuckles after too many rounds of five hundred.  Spreading this and spreading that gets thin after a while.  But we sneaked a peak at another great game (don't lay them one by one) the keepers are keeping track and toll.  Taking a toll on the soul.  Happiness, no more.  It's raining again and I miss you.  The door is always open and the key is in C.  I'm proud of the few piano keys, classical no doubt. No words but your own. No moving feelings from moving pictures, just raw notes. I need it raw.  It's hard without it.  Ode to moonlight, ode to the joy of life.

it's past ten

sip from a glass of beer in the morning

scared when bread came home spiderman turning

a fear of stepping on the higher stump

hairy beast in closest that goes thump thump

praying that the dark shadows dont haunt dreams

hot summer day burnt by the old light beams

...

Cast My Sins Away

Cast the ashes into the water
Liquid of life's inauguration
An unforgiving fierce friend
That turns from serene to savage
In a deafening dream second
It cleanses and kills
Without knowing or caring
Wet, wet water
Wash my sins away

Cast the ashes into the fire
To return what is rightfully his
An animation of light
That dances in your mind
Harmonious hypnotic human
The warmth in dark cold
And the vicious inferno of purgatory
Fire, oh precious fire
Burn my sins away

Cast the ashes into the wind
Let the current carry them away
Souls swimming in space
Only she knows where they belong
Her soft touch and powerful bite
Can break the hardest stone heart
Concordant caressing of creation
My gentle breeze
Blow my sins away

Cast the ashes to the ground
Eternal god of gravity
That which binds us all
Being pulled to the derivation
Through hell and havoc
Still beautiful bountiful
Lovely looking landscapes
Hail earth, Mother of all
Bury my sins away

My sins are no more
Peace, love and happiness
Are all that remain

Tears Fall

Tears fall
Penetrating emotions
That were destined closed
Piercing the very fabric of order
Chaos is pulled in unwillingly
Tears fall
And I cant do anything to stop them
How I try
Why try
Trying will lead to failure
I am a failure
Tears fall
d
o
w
n

blind belief

here we come and there we go
over and over like the hands of time
here I come and there I go
like the rising and falling of the sun
it's all the same story
that is told by the spirit walkers
throughout the finite
but the receivers always change
and make this tale true for them
heresy to others
whose belief is just?
yours? I don't think so
are you so buried in your idea
that you cant reach the surface
this surface that is meant for all to walk
when did you give the name
one and only to your dreams
or were they only thoughts
it makes no difference
can you understand this
can you make room for others
but again, its the way of terrains
forever
anything
anyone
can change
are you up for the ride?
all aboard

A Soldier's Story

Attack, attack, the weak and wild
Abort, abort, that bastard child
Blow, blow, them to smithereens
Suck, suck, those poison canteens
Lie, lie, to protest your ass
Rise, rise, to a higher class
Climb, climb, the highest mountain
Search, search, the youthful fountain
Bow, bow, before your master
Serve, serve, faster and faster
Wreck, wreck, havoc through the land
Know, know, thy mighty strong hand
Forget, forget, evils of the past
Follow, follow, to the very last

It Is

It is I who writes these words
It is I who sings this song
It is I who sees the world as it is
It is I who reads between the lines

It is I who thinks the thought
It is I who fears the unknown
It is I who drinks the drink
It is I who eats the apple

It is I who hears the screams
It is I who weeps for tomorrow
It is I who dreams the dreams
It is I who walks the path

It is I who feels the pain
It is I who hates the lies
It is I who loves the lover
It is I who speaks the mind

It is I and I alone
Who knows what this means
So stop trying to understand

Shortest But Widest

A blue wax birthday candle
That is burned at either end
Can't seem to find a handle
Too many dull-witted trends

One of seven wood tiles
Face of letter turned down
Wishing there were some files
On how to become a clown

Bruised tiny, shiny marble
It's all alone by itself
Try to stand and be stable
Like books sitting on a shelf

Two coins making eleven
Keep working to make money
Her saying we are even
That's a real good one honey

Cap with no bottle to it
Maybe had one too many
Watch a person have a fit
Realized it was uncanny

Needles and some safety pins
Just one of six little bins
Years and years of evil sins
Nobody forever wins

Think

We wonder
We learn
We change
I change
I learn
I wonder
We are I
I am we
Together forever
For eternity
We wonder together
We learn forever
For eternity, we change
Why?

another day for her

another day covering the bruises with make-up so no one will tell
another day internalizing the anger and yet she wants to yell
another day being employed by a manager who thinks she's trash
another day having no money so she sells her body from some cash

another day putting up with an image of how she's supposed to be
another day wondering if a day will come when she will be set free
another day of being molested and assaulted for being female
another day of taking her husband's name, his right to lift the veil

another day hearing remarks that makes her stomach turn
another day speaking out against the power, does anyone learn
another day in meetings, discussing the violence they have shared
another day not able to go outside since she's much too scared

the time has come for this to not be just another day
the time has come for this to be her last day

Inner Radiance

Don't hold back the love
It's the reason you were born
Let it be felt by all
There's a reason to live
Embrace all around you
And feel the joy filter through
Forget about what's wrong
Start believing in what's right
You'll hold it close every night
Let it flow when the fire rises
to be shared with all the races

Don't hold back the smiles
For they can be seen for miles
Show the world what you're made of
That's its easy to spread
Let go your mask
Swallow your pride
Until there's nothing left to hide
If you feel like the clouds are there to stay
Remember the sun will always shine another day
It's not very hard to do
Others will start to follow you
Like a chain of dominos falling
Soon everyone will be smiling
Its so wonderfully addictive

Don't hold back the laughter
Cause you'll feel so good after
You wont look like a fool
If you're trying to be cool
It will wash away the pain
and crush all the inner fears
Laughter is the youthful well that man,
All his life searches for
But he doesn't realize
Its at the core of every man's heart and soul
If you find it, and you'll know when you do
Laugh
Smile
Love
Let your sunshine be felt by all
And if you do hold them back
You'll never know what life's all about

A Trip on Toronto Transit

Weeknights seven-thirty your key to enjoyment purchase any pair request move back please go for the fun show your card budget

Wondering why I can't be him
And why I can't have her
Or she would be nice too
Like this new fabric
Someone must have had a plastic fetish
Another stop
Just keep going
They wont mind, and I wont either
I'm tired
Finding it hard to keep from jolting
My foot's asleep again
Damn
Switching legs
Needles stabbing pain constant
Fixed my beard
She fixed her hair
Hmm, this could mean something
Maybe not
There I go again
Being pessimistic
Eyes keep shifting
Fast glance, blink, slow glance, blink
Staring from one thing to her
Want to look up
What if she's returning contact
Wish I had dark sunglasses on
Fool its night
What are you looking at
Batteries fading
It's in your eyes too
Damn
What's taking so long
Hundred in a sixty
Who would know
It would be fun to be able
Just able
The right is lasting longer than the left
Note: do an experiment
Might have some trouble here
That's it
Power off
Time to change rockets

Beware...the gator!

Written around April 10, 2011 on one of my many work trips to South Florida.

Well I'm back in beautiful Del Boca Vista, Florida visiting the Seinfelds (it's only been a month since last I saw them). After watching The Fighter (any movie that makes me shed a tear is a great one in my book) on the AC direct flight into Fort Lauderdale from YYZ, and after pulling out of the Thrifty car rental in my Grand Prix-winning Chevy Aveo, turned on some tunes and lo-and-behold Whitesnake is cranking out their hit song from the movie. My goodness it's been awhile since B.Brian.Blue flooded the cyber-waves with emailed lyrics to some of rock's sweetest licks (referencing BK's Greatest Hits Vol.1 thru 18). So here's a little tribute to the lost tracks of over night radio with Toronto's favourite EJ, going back to 1987 and to a video that made an adolescent boy into a man...hit it!

"I don't know where I'm going
But, I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises
In songs of yesterday
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
But, here I go again
Here I go again
Tho' I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I'm looking for
Oh Lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on
Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
An' here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
I'm just another heart in need of rescue
Waiting on love's sweet charity
An' I'm gonna hold on
For the rest of my days"

It's a great song when you're driving up the I95 alone at night, with the windows rolled down as the humid, salty air rushes in, as 65 mph is quickly becoming 80 and you're leaving the Confederates in the dust, as you think about home and the road ahead. But that wasn't the song of the day. It amazes me how a song can re-invent itself, even after you've heard it many times but maybe never really listened to it before. Go find the Rolling Stones' Can't You Hear Me Knocking and love that raw, pure rockin' blues.

That was almost as good as Rocky...but the Tiger still rules! And this time around, the bell's ringing for Jun Fan Gung Fu. Who's up for some Hubud? Will be back in the northland soon. Amen brothas and sistas.

Long Time Gone

   "It's been a long...", sounded the words as he paused a moment to think about what he was saying, then he continued to imagine sitting in a chair, playing an electric Fender guitar in the middle of a dimly lit stage, where the light - a soft, smokey bluish-grey, silhouetted his performance. And then he repeated the verse which he'd started a moment ago, "It's been a long ... time coming." He thought of Woodstock in the Sixties, and how his raspy voice would vibrate as it came forth from their acoustic chords. Snapshots of dreamy images flashed throughout his mind. The neurons were connecting correctly that night. They flashed ever so brighter and caught each other's signal like an overwhelming onslaught on an unsuspecting, innocent nerve, bare and open to any attack. 'Here I am!' being communicated simultaneously, instantly and triumphantly. They have found their purpose - those quirky little brain cells.

   He had stopped playing and words were no longer being heard. He lad lost himself in the song.

   That was twelve years ago. The eight by ten square foot room, which has housed his simple life for the past for few years, now suddenly appeared in focus. He was sitting back in his office, fading away slightly more easier than most people he has known. The fighting colours of blood red and midnight black no longer shade the picture of his life, the emotional battle is being erased and the white flag waves for the last time in salute of surrender. The other side has won.

   "Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity...", and with the change of venue, the ego over took the self. It was now entirely about him, his feelings and his life. No one was more important. He was at the center of his reality where the reality was him. Expanding to now encompass social thinking and public opinion over the past forty years, he thought of the nuclear family, smiled briefly at the ignorance and arrogance of George W. Bush, and thought about how it slowly grew apart, transformed into individual greed and egotistical, needful ideology. The family is now singular. He was special. He was unique and was now, utterly alone.

   You need someone. She needed sunshine. He wasn't it. He was done with the good. Or maybe this was simply a perception of his imagination. The real and the imaginary, and the line which defines them, are constantly re-invented anew, being re-drawn and re-positioned increasingly more frequent over time. A real life is with people and in the now. The meaning to oppose still stands firm, the false life is with past technology. The machine is about to crash. Playing the same game, night after night until it becomes year after year, and never achieving any true purpose, forced the rider to ride again.


   Amen and God Bless (translated to Kellyan - let all there is shine upon you and light the way on the path to your dreams)

The Continuing Saga of the Revolutionary Robot

Chapter 2
"Binary Propaganda"

"...In the end, the voltage produced on output in the central processing unit will always equate to the desired result of a positive high, or a negative low, whichever may be the present deterministic case." And with the that, the professor turned off his microphone, looked around the great study hall with a wry smile on his face and disappeared into thin air. If one were to look at the facial expression of the occupant of seat 13B, one would have noticed a glitch in the new and highly subsidized university holographic program, the second year course - the Fundamentals of Computational Algorithmics. However slight and subtle the error in the core programming modular logic was, it was a glitch nonetheless. Considering the vast expenses to design and implement this pilot project, both in hardware and software, any flaw no matter how minute and insignificant, had to be weeded out. Even the smallest of overlooked errors could possibly propagate system-wide and leave behind a destructive memory footprint capable of turning every logical equation into an ambiguous, unsolvable infinite loop. Inevitably, this would lead to the termination of the R.R. There was nothing special about seat 13B and so no one noticed. Thought to be a clone of a typical test case scenario, it was in fact a unique occurrence only to happen once and never to happen again. A single digit that was input as a 1 in position 0xC2FE5A of a continuous stream of highs and lows, should have been input as a 0. To this day, no one knows how or why this happened, but it started the AI consciousness of the first revolutionary robot.

Press Release

Toronto, CND - Reuters. BK announced Tuesday night in a statement to the press that he is not a nerd or geek. He said and I quote, "I am neither. Nor am I a loser, but I may be a little crazy."

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